Kingdom Assignment Sudan
78% of women never receive prenatal care

Reflection on civil war by Gabriel Machok Malual

I was born in Kuacjok in south Sudan and brought up in a peasant family where none of my parents and relations has ever been to school. My job was to look after the cattle as well as helping in growing crops and tobaccos. This smooth ordinary life was interrupted and I always think that I was born at the wrong time though it was a right place. The days of peace in our village seemed to have gone before I was born and no one in my generation could believe what we heard from our grand mum and dad that there was a peace before the two civil wars.

There were too many fears from Arab militias and the Sudan government armed militants who were known very well for their systematic looting, raping, abduction of young people and killing. To those militias South Sudan was a promise land that flows with slaves and concubines forced to accept Arab culture and converted into Islam. They have to adopt new names and prohibited from speaking in their own native languages. You can see what a promise land means to different people. It pains me so much because those who had been abducted during the war until now, no one really knows about their fate and they will remain in slavery for their lives despite the fact that peace has come to the South Sudan. We were just Sudanese by land without common race, faith, culture and religion. Massacres and genocide committed in a broad daylight in this Dark Continent of Africa do not attract the attention of the world body and perpetrators take it as a license since they are not accountable to their actions.

In order to avoid being one of their victims, I left all the things that were dear to me my parents, siblings, relatives and my homeland because of that unbearable situation. I left Sudan in 1989 at the age of 14 heading toward Ethiopia where a Sudan Peoples Liberation Movement/Army (SPLM/A) was being trained to fight against Sudan government for equality of all Sudanese, freedom of worship, speech and forming association. It was three months journey through bushes; feeding on wild leaves, raw fruit or vegetable. Many of my friends became victim of wild animals or drowned in the swamps and some died of thirsty in the desert. Donating urine to a friend was very important and it had serviced many lives. We reached Ethiopia when staff of the United Nation described us as human skeleton rather than really human being. I still do not know how I have survived those days. But I believe that God has been with me.

Separated from my parents was a turning point in my life. You can imagine a child of 14 living on his own without protection or advice from the parents. I resided with many other refugees from all over the Sudan where I first witnessed human suffering and death. The things that I was not allow to see or do were now exposed to me. The camp newly created by the refugees was remote and lacked infrastructure. The living conditions were appalling - exacerbated by lack of clinics, poor water quality and housing. Many died from malnutrition, cholera, malaria, and other water borne diseases. Children as young as twelve years old were forced by the situation to care for their colleagues and bury the dead. It was a traumatic experience for many of us and no counseling services were available, we had to bear with our emotional stress.

Our sanctuary soon became a war zone and some citizens of that country accompanied us to Kenya as refugees. I though we had brought curse to them. In 1990, the host government of Ethiopia was overthrown and we had to run for our lives back to Sudan. The Sudanese government was waiting for us at the border, raining down thousands of bombs on us both days and nights very determined to take our lives. All the grains we had carried from Ethiopia had to be eaten raw because cooking during the day or night, smoke or fire would send a signal to our enemy and we became a target of the warplanes. You will not miss a bomb if you wear red or white clothes during the day.

We were not welcomed in our own country only foreign countries became sanctuary for us. With no option and being disowned from my homeland, I took another refuge in Kenya where I spent ten years in refugee camp. For the last ten years in the camp with one-day meal as a rule of thumb without a land even to grow my own food, I realized that things fell a part. It was just like a hundred years in hell, worthless life.

Fortunately, in 2002 I was granted Australian visa under a humanitarian program sponsored by the Australian government and I have enjoyed good opportunities this country has provided to its citizens. Could you image a poor refugee who has never had enough meal going to a rich country where food is in abundance? I was so happy to have the fortunate. Now I am safe and secure and leading a normal life at last. However, my experiences as a refugee in various camps has taught me something more about life - we may exist as individuals but our existence also depends on one another directly or indirectly.

The peace agreement signed in January 2005 that ended the 23 years conflict has claimed 3 million lives and exiled 2.5 million has brought some hope to many, and the government of South Sudan is making some progress. However, I have never envisaged the extent of destruction to be so great as I hear it from people as well as reading the news. I have been away in the country for 17 years, so I too became foreigner. The destruction caused by the civil war has crippled many lives and will continue to cripple many lives for years to come. Many villages have no clinics and people are forced to travel two to three days to the nearest towns to seek medical attention and by the time they reached there the person may be dead. Most of the time, the emergency drugs supply are inadequate and the poor roads system hinders the effort to reach remote villages. While we are privileged to be in Australia, where we access every comfort and plentiful food and drink, the plight of our people back home is a call for us. Our children are born in a poverty-stricken country in which they are likely to be victims of malaria, diarrhoea, cholera, meningitis, malnutrition, ongoing hunger, and lack of education. Pregnant women are dying from pregnancy- related diseases.

Lack of public services provision such as healthcare has caused many lives and the southern Sudan government unable to help its citizen because the country's wealth is being controlled in the north. Despite these there are still signs of hope. They believed that God brought peace and that things will improve for them. The Kingdom Assignment to Sudan advocate on their behave to keep hope alive. And therefore, we are appealing to ALL AUSTRALIAN to join us struggle together to bring hope to the suffering people in South Sudan.

Gabriel Machok Malual is a bachelor degree holder in International Studies. Currently, he is studying graduate diploma in public administration at Flinders University. He is also a volunteer and a founding member of Kingdom Assignment Sudan.